We Cannot Save the Ones We Love

Guest post By Christine Lindsay

We humans were created with a wide variety of personality bents. A
strong trait in my family is that of “caregiver.” Scientific lists
describe this attribute as a “savior” type, or supporter. Certainly not a
bad thing, and a characteristic we find in most doctors or nurses,
firemen, police officers, and so on.

But personality traits can have a negative aspect as well as the positive. Some of us can carry this virtue to a fault.

How can one be faulted for having strong desires to help others? Unless
your kind of service, your fixing of the situation, actually hinders God
from doing what He wants to do in that person’s life.

Have you ever stopped in the middle of helping others out of a jam, and
thought, maybe it would be better if they took their lumps and learned
from their unhappy circumstances?



As parents, we use a “time out” session or some other form of discipline to teach our kids about life. God does the same thing.

In my latest historical romance Sofi’s Bridge, both the hero and the
heroine are “savior” or “supporter” personality types. Sofi’s Bridge
showcases the valuable truth, that these characters, alone, cannot save
their loved ones. In fact, in both Sofi and Neil, their traits to “save”
others actually deepens the trough of predicaments, grief and despair
in the lives of the people they want to help most.

Here is a brief excerpt from Sofi’s Bridge where Irish hero Neil learns this important spiritual lesson:

Back when Neil and Jimmy were only lads, the two of them hanging on to
their father’s hand as they walked to church on a Sunday morn. Bells
chimed all over Belfast. Inside the gray stone building, Neil had
listened to the minister preach of what Christ had done on the cross for
all mankind, taking the punishment that people like him deserved.

Now in this jail cell, Neil sat up and leaned his elbows on his knees.
His hands dangled between them like heavy weights. As a boy he’d
believed in what Jesus had done. But as an adult he’d demeaned that
sacrifice. Instead, he’d tried to be Jimmy’s savior. But how could he
save anyone, him a fallible human being?

Both Sofi and Neil must learn that sometimes true love is letting the
people we love go through difficult times, and not manipulating the
circumstances to alleviate their discomfort. True love means placing
them in the hands of God, even if it will hurt them and us for a while.

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 About Christine: Irish born Christine Lindsay is the author of multi-award-winning Christian fiction and non-fiction. Readers describe her writing as gritty yet tender, realistic yet larger than life, with historical detail that collides into the heart of psychological and relationship drama.

Christine's fictional novels have garnered the ACFW Genesis Award, The Grace Award, Canada’s The Word Guild Award, and was a finalist twice for Readers’ Favorite as well as 2nd place in RWA’s Faith Hope and Love contest.


This author’s non-fiction memoir Finding Sarah Finding Me is the true-life story that started this award-winning career in Christian fiction and non-fiction. This book is a must for anyone whose life has been touched by adoption. Christine is currently writing a new fictional series set on the majestic coast of Ireland and loaded with her use of setting as a character that will sweep the reader away. Subscribe to her newsletter on her website www.christinelindsay.org

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About the Book: Seattle Debutante Sofi Andersson will do everything in her power to rotect her sister who is suffering from shock over their father's
death. Charles, the family busy-body, threatens to lock Trina in a
sanatorium—a whitewashed term for an insane asylum—so Sofi will rescue
her little sister, even if it means running away to the Cascade
Mountains with only the new gardener Neil Macpherson to protect them.
But in a cabin high in the Cascades, Sofi begins to recognize that the
handsome immigrant from Ireland harbors secrets of his own. Can she
trust this man whose gentle manner brings such peace to her traumatized
sister and such tumult to her own emotions? And can Nei, the gardener
continue to hide from Sofi that he is really Dr. Neil Galloway, a man
wanted for murder by the British police? Only an act of faith and love
will bridge the distance that separates lies from truth and safety.

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