Saturday, January 23, 2016

Hanging Up My Keys

This post is personal. Read it, or not. I just needed to get this out of my system and let the issue go, finally, to rest in peace.

Keys-cropMy car keys, that is . . . my last link to independence.


Surrendering that independence is hard. Very hard. But my eyes are letting me down, little by little.

When I left Nevada in November 2012, I still had a valid driver’s license, but it was due for renewal in January.

So, after settling down back in Wisconsin, I applied for a WI driver’s license . . . and failed the vision test. Of course, it would have happened in Vegas, as well.

My home is situated outside the city limits, on a dirt road. There’s a supermarket about seven blocks away which is accessible from a back road without having to go out on the highway, so I’ve been taking myself shopping . . . unlicensed and uninsured . . . until just recently.

Over these past three years, my eyesight has been getting progressively worse. Even when riding as a passenger, I can no longer read highway and street signs until I’m right up on them.

I can no longer gauge the speed of an oncoming car, nor can I tell how far away they are.

At a stop sign or street light, cars crossing in front of me appear truncated, as if they’ve been cut in half.

My depth perception is totally shot. I am no longer sure where the front of the car is, nor its width when I try to park.

I have autoimmune issues, and my eyes are paying the price. So it’s time to hang up my keys. It irks me, even angers me, to have to depend on someone else to take me where I need to go. But I will not put myself—or anyone else—at risk.

Will I be able to keep writing? For now, yes, thanks to a 23” desktop computer—which is now over four years old—and God’s plan’s for me as a writer from this point forward.

If you’ve stuck with me through this, thanks for your kind attention. Understand…this is not a ‘pity party.’  It’s just facing reality. It is what it is, and God is in control.



  1. I'm sorry, Peggy. This must be so hard...

  2. Thanks, Jennifer. Yes, it's beyond hard, but it is what it is. . I have to trust that God has a reason and a plan. He always does, right?

  3. Oh, Peg, I'm sorry. But thank the good Lord there is decent voice to text software available. Your writing won't be as hard as the rest of your life. I'm so independent, I bring and rail at this for you! BUT ... God will bring people into your life who want to help. Let them. They will be blessed by God, so don't rob them of that blessing by hating to "trouble" them.

    When God calls us to minister through fiction, He brings those into our lives who want to be part of your ministry. :) I know He'll provide those people for you now. I'll be praying just the right one comes along. The ones who stop by and ask if you need anything, instead of you having to call them.

    Sending hugs!

  4. Thanks, Ane, your encouragement means a lot. I do have the Dragon sofrware but haven't installed it yet. Bought it a few yers go anticipating this.
    I live with my daughter and son-in-law, so if I arrange things around their schedules, it'll work out. Heidi took me shopping yesterday. And there is a local community bus service, so if push comes to shove, I can still get around. And, when summer rolls around, I COULD walk to the supermarket up the road . . . as long as I don't get any heavy stuff :)
    Thanks for the cyber hugs!

  5. Thinking of you Peggy. I gave up my car five years ago when we moved to Nevada. I didn't have issues at the time, but didn't want to learn new freeways, new state laws, etc., or have my first accident at my age. I have a wonderful son and daughter-in-law who were retiring (early) at the time, and with whom I now live. They assured me that they would take me anywhere I wanted to go, and they've been very generous in that regard. (And I don't take them for granted! :-) )

  6. Thanks for stopping by, Lois. This was inevitable and I really have nothing to complain about. God even planned for it when we were allowed to buy this house I was renting before the landlord put it on the market two uears ago next month. He has been good.

  7. Oh Peg, I wish I had some wise words. All I do know is this. I KNOW you belong to Jesus, and you have the Creator of the Universe as your Savior, and the friend who never leaves. I pray He will give you grace and courage, and wonderful words to write or speak into writing. May He work through you and in you to touch many people with the sure Hope we have that is not in this world. And may you be filled with the joy of the thought of the day you SEE your Savior and friend face to face, without any haze or squinting.
    I so appreciate you and all you are doing to facilitate others like me at the beginning of our writing journey. Thanks for your honest sharing. Love and hugs. Debbie

  8. Brave and the right thing to do! I've had family members and friends who refused to stop driving when they should and put others' lives in danger, as well as their own. You've raised a standard for all of us. I'm sorry this presented itself to you at an early age, but very proud of you, Peg.

  9. Hi, Deb. Your words this morning have shed a bright light on my day. You are a great encourager and dear friend I've never met. Thanks so much.

  10. Oh, Pat, you made me laugh at the 'early age" somment. I hhad a birthday the other day and don't feel "early" :) I saw something on Facebook a while back that goes something like this: "I'm older than I've ever been, and younger than I'll ever be again." That about sums it up, right?
    My son-in-law's mother is one of those you mentioned about refusing to quit driving. She's in her 80's and has taken her sideview mirrors off several times pulling into her garage. Fortunately, that's all the damage she's far. She won't listen to the pleadings of her kids.
    Anyway, thanks for visiting my blog! I hope you'll stop by again.