Are Your Modifiers Dangling?

Dangling Modifiers and Other Writing Faux Pas

by Peggy Blann Phifer

Image from Pixabay

They jump right out at you. We've all seen them, laughed at them, and wondered how they got past the editor. I'm talking about "dangling modifiers."

Let's look at a few:

"Changing the oil every 3,000 miles, the car seemed to run better."

"Quickly summoning an ambulance, the corpse was carried to the mortuary."

"Walking through the park, the coins fell through a hole in his pocket."

"Turning the corner, a handsome building appeared."

"Flying low, a herd of cattle could be seen."

"Watching from the ground, the birds flew higher until they disappeared."

All the words in front of the comma are 'dangling modifiers.' They just sit there--dangling--modifying nothing. They have no subject. We have a car changing its own oil. Coins walking in the park. A corpse calling the ambulance. A building turning the corner. Cattle flying low. And birds watching themselves fly.

Interesting.

When we begin a sentence with a modifying word, phrase, or clause, we have to make sure the next thing that comes along can, in fact, be modified by that modifier. When a modifier   improperly modifies something, it is called a 'dangling modifier.' This often happens with beginning participial phrases, making 'dangling participles' all too common.

So, we need to change these sentences, somehow, so they make sense:

"Changing the oil every 3,000 miles, Jack found that he got much better mileage."

"Quickly summoning an ambulance, witnesses watched as the corpse was carried to the mortuary." (I'm sure you can do better with this one! Give it a try.)

"Walking through the park, Bob never noticed the coins falling through a hole in his pocket."

I'll let you work on the other sentences while I go on to another common writing error. These are a bit more subtle, yet glaringly obvious to the writer's eye.

"Ramona prays fervently for her Grandmother's recovery at St. Matthews Church." (Her grandmother lives at the church?)

"He found the golf clubs that his father had used to win the U.S. Open in the car trunk." (Huh?)

"They reported that Giuseppe Bella, the European rock star, had died on the 6 o'clock news." (Hmm, bet THAT was exciting!)

Or how about these headlines…

"Stolen art found by tree in park!" (I can see it now: Oak Tree Opens Private Detective Agency.)

"Car crashes into store window going 60 miles per hour!" (I can see it now…speeding window collides with car.)

As you can see, writers must be careful in sentence construction. Most editors will catch them. But, apparently, from the examples above, not always. 

One last look at what I mean:

From the Wall Street Journal--"Once thought plentiful, the U.S. is now facing a shortage of natural gas that could last for years." Uh, the U.S. isn't as plentiful as we thought?

This was a dispatch from Miami Beach a number of years ago--

"The palazzo was the stately retreat of fashion designer Gianni Versace. Gunned down on the steps of his mansion, tourists come like pilgrims to a shrine in this playground of glamour." Gunned down tourists? Oh, my.

Hope this has been some fun for you. These examples are just a handful of those that appear all the time in newspapers, and, unfortunately, even books. Be sure what you write makes sense! Check what you write carefully. Don't leave it to editors to catch your errors--sometimes they won't.

Fun Friday Challenge…for Writers…and a Giveaway

Courtesy of Edgar Allan Poe. Seriously!



I’ve spent the better part of this week brainstorming my new writing project. You know, lining up my characters—this is the third volume of a series—making sure I’ll tie up things in the previous two volumes, and taking everyone and everything through a What If journey.

At the same time I worried over what to write for my blog post today.

Around midnight, I shut the computer down and crawled into bed. Of course, though I turned off the computer, I could not turn off my brain. My mind was still awhirl with thoughts of my story, images of my characters and setting, and on and on. I tossed and turned trying to get comfortable enough to fall asleep.

I’m obstinate enough to refuse to get back up and boot up the computer, convincing myself I’d fall asleep soon. Eventually I did, but somewhere in that ‘not-quite-asleep’ haze came the thought for today’s blog. How, from where it came, I have no idea. I can’t explain it. Usually, in the morning, those random thoughts are gone.

Usually. Not this morning. The idea was still there, pulling at me.

So, I followed through, and this post is the result. Probably a product of my restless night.

Whatever . . . here we go.

Edgar Allan Poe was the master of the macabre, frequently dipping into horror. Some considered him mad. Others thought him genius. Whichever way the opinion pendulum swings, his work has endured the test of time. And I’m not here to challenge that.

I’m here to challenge YOU.

Below is a link to Poe’s The Fall of the House of Usher, one of his stories, written in 1839, one I’ve never quite been able to forget.Some of his phrases/descriptions intrigued me, such as: A deep dank tarn. or, a barely perceptible fissure. They fascinate me.

Anyway, here’s my challenge: Click on the link which will take you the the story online. Unless you want to, you don’t actually have to read it, though it is short. What I’m asking you to do is skim through the writing and see if you–as writers–can spot how many of today’s writing rules we’ve been taught he has broken.

Then leave a comment below listing the things you caught and you’ll be entered into a drawing for a $5 Amazon Gift Card.

I require a minimum of FIVE entries to hold the drawing. Ends one week from today, Friday, Aug 7. 

Are you game? Here’s the link:

http://xroads.virginia.edu/~hyper/POE/fall.html

And, have fun with this!