Dangling Modifiers and Other Writing Faux Pas
by Peggy Blann Phifer
Image from Pixabay |
They jump right out at you. We've all seen
them, laughed at them, and wondered how they got past the editor. I'm talking
about "dangling modifiers."
Let's look at a few:
"Changing the oil every 3,000 miles, the
car seemed to run better."
"Quickly
summoning an ambulance, the corpse was carried to the mortuary."
"Walking through the park, the
coins fell through a hole in his pocket."
"Turning the corner, a
handsome building appeared."
"Flying low, a herd of cattle
could be seen."
"Watching from the ground, the
birds flew higher until they disappeared."
All the words in front of the comma are
'dangling modifiers.' They just sit there--dangling--modifying nothing. They
have no subject. We have a car changing its own oil. Coins walking in the park.
A corpse calling the ambulance. A building turning the corner. Cattle flying
low. And birds watching themselves fly.
Interesting.
When we begin a sentence with a modifying word,
phrase, or clause, we have to make sure the next thing that comes along can, in
fact, be modified by that modifier. When a modifier improperly modifies something, it is called
a 'dangling modifier.' This often happens with beginning participial phrases,
making 'dangling participles' all too common.
So, we need to change these sentences, somehow,
so they make sense:
"Changing the oil every 3,000 miles, Jack
found that he got much better mileage."
"Quickly summoning an ambulance, witnesses
watched as the corpse was carried to the mortuary." (I'm sure you can do better with this one! Give it a try.)
"Walking through the park, Bob never
noticed the coins falling through a hole in his pocket."
I'll let you work on the other sentences while
I go on to another common writing error. These are a bit more subtle, yet
glaringly obvious to the writer's eye.
"Ramona prays fervently for her
Grandmother's recovery at St. Matthews Church." (Her grandmother lives at
the church?)
"He found the golf clubs that his father
had used to win the U.S. Open in the car trunk." (Huh?)
"They reported that Giuseppe Bella, the
European rock star, had died on the 6
o'clock news." (Hmm, bet THAT was exciting!)
Or how about these headlines…
"Stolen art found by tree in park!"
(I can see it now: Oak Tree Opens Private Detective Agency.)
"Car crashes into store window going 60
miles per hour!" (I can see it now…speeding window collides with car.)
As you can see, writers must be careful in
sentence construction. Most editors will catch them. But, apparently, from the
examples above, not always.
One last look at what I mean:
From the Wall Street Journal--"Once
thought plentiful, the U.S.
is now facing a shortage of natural gas that could last for years." Uh,
the U.S.
isn't as plentiful as we thought?
This was a dispatch from Miami Beach a number of years ago--
"The
palazzo was the stately retreat of fashion designer Gianni Versace. Gunned down
on the steps of his mansion, tourists come like pilgrims to a shrine in this
playground of glamour." Gunned down tourists? Oh, my.
Hope this has been some fun for you. These
examples are just a handful of those that appear all the time in newspapers,
and, unfortunately, even books. Be sure what you write makes sense! Check what
you write carefully. Don't leave it to editors to catch your errors--sometimes
they won't.
Oh, dear, Peg! I just finished my latest book and am about to send it my publisher. Now, because of you, I need to re-edit, again!
ReplyDeleteBonnie
Gulp! Sorry about that, Bonnie. Wait ... no I'm not. If this post caused you to stop and take another run through your ms, then it served its purpose. Hugs
DeleteI see these headlines and sentence misconstructions almost daily from our local TV News station. Many stories are at least partially incomprehensible. It's a sad state of writing these days.
ReplyDeleteI agree, Rich. A sentence beginning with a gerund should automatically wave a red flag ... at least it does to me. Thanks for dropping in.
Delete