The Ever-Present Companion
Hello, my name is Renee Blare and this is Peg Phifer’s
Whispers in Purple. Welcome! It’s been awhile since I’ve written
a blog for anyone so bear with me. First, let me thank you, Peg. I’m so happy
to be here. Second, thank YOU, readers, for joining us.
(PS I'm giving away a PRINT book --- see below for details)
Change
I’m a Christian, and author. And I can
say from both perspectives (from writer “speak” that’s POV), life isn’t easy.
It’s fraught with relational danger. After all, today’s social structure isn’t
compatible with a young or middle-aged disabled person who wants to stay
connected with people, but physically, financially, and cognitively does not
have the tools, means, or access to do so.
But is it really society’s
responsibility to do so? Is it society’s fault or the person’s? After all, they
are the one who changed, whether voluntarily or not. They are the ones who
don’t fit anywhere. Shouldn’t they conform or be cast aside? Why should society
have to change to make them welcome?
This is the conundrum of today’s blog.
What is faced by thousands, if not millions, each year. It’s what will never go
away. These are serious questions.
And I don’t say these things to be
cruel or cast stones. Absolutely not! After all, I am one who does not
fit! I’m disabled. And so often, before I developed Complex Regional Pain
Syndrome, Type Two, I participated in the “normal social structure,” so how can
I point fingers?
How, you ask? I tossed money and
platitudes, the claim of prayer, you name it—when challenged with those who
were “less fortunate” or unable to function as “I could.” I promised to help.
Believe me, the Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon was an easy out.
After watching my husband suffer with
unrelenting pain and bodily struggle (he’d had 38 surgeries at the time), I
asked God to reveal what all of “this” suffering was for . . . what he wanted
from me in the process. He answered and I will never be the same.
A quick word of advice: NEVER Ask God
to Unveil Your Soul and Reveal His Truth for Your life.
His answer? He Changes
You Within and Without so You Rely on Him not Yourself.
What did I discover during this process about the attempts
I’d made before to “help” others? I found what they really were, at least for
me, and that’s what they were… for me. EMPTY SOLUTIONS TO SATISFY A SELFISH
PERSON, MYSELF. I had no intention of giving of myself, so I gave money. My
time was the most precious commodity I had! It was, well, me! I couldn’t simply
give that away without good reason.
What about prayer? Surely, I could pray? Nope, forget it. I’m a prayer
warrior (or at least I thought I was) and I told those folks that I’d pray, but
I reserved my prayer life for those who needed it, not folks who simply had a
hard time getting around. I considered
prayer time was special, personal, and sacred time spent for God. To waste that
time was sacrilegious to me. I was hard as a stone and I wasn’t going to change
for anybody.
Most see CHANGE as short-term
occurrences, horrific in nature—the death of a loved one or past-due bill— or
wonderful—graduation from college or marriage to your high-school sweetheart.
Either situation is stressful but if taken in stride, can be handled as part of
“normal” life in America or most cultures on this beautiful blue world.
However, when I prayed that prayer, God
began working and taught me a lesson I’ll never forget. Not all of us lose the
ability to drive, walk, stand, sit, or lie down. We don’t all suffer agonizing
nerve, muscle, joint, and unbearable epidermal sensitivity to the point moving
is close to impossible.
That kind of life is not “normal.” It is
not “fair.” It is not “acceptable.” It is, however, my life.
When faced with a plea for help, do you
know how to help someone whose life has been changed as much as mine? We stick
with the normal “stuff,” but it falls so short. The “words” sound empty even to
me. When the prayers don’t “work,” what do you say? What can you? Money thrown
at the problem seems rather shallow since we can’t fix anything so we don’t
try. In the end, what is left?
We shy away and stop helping at all. Not
because we don’t care, but simply because it’s too painful to watch anymore.
And from the viewpoint of the one suffering? I understand completely—now.
Change is hard. It’s
painful. It’s difficult to see and worse to understand when it’s a loved one.
Even more unbearable when it’s unwanted in yourself.
Some kinds of change are merciless. They
take no prisoners. One such type of change is CRPS. It steals freedom from the
mind and the body. It rips a body from the inside out, leaving the shell
remaining. It took years to diagnose, years to face, and now I’m trying to
rebuild. Will I ever have the life I had before without it? No. Will I have a
life with it? Of course, I have Jesus Christ as my Cornerstone.
Remember His answer to my prayer? I’m
learning everyday how to RELY ON HIM more and more. He’s my strength. He gets
me through each day.
CRPS doesn’t control my life, God does. I rejoice every
second! God is good. God is great! Oh, yeah, that’s my thanks for each
meal…sorry.
Anyhoo, I’m still a writer. I’m working
on a set of children’s books for Service Dogs based around my own Mobility
Service Dog, Bo. I’ve even decided to write a Historical Novel! Now that is a
feat of mankind 😉
It may take me years to do, but I’m not
going anywhere. I’ll be here.
Thank you for listening to me ramble. Chronic
Pain is a major cause of disability. Don’t worry about offending someone if
they are struggling by asking if you can help them. We need it!
How can you help a disabled friend?
Easy! Call, write, visit, send a small offering, ask if they need a meal or
ride to a doctor appointment, be a friend, listen to them, pray with them or
for them. Don’t tell them everything your doing for them, just do it! Don’t
give up on them even when all they do is complain or never call you.
BE THEIR FRIEND. It’s
lonely to fight pain all the time.
God is good all the time
and all the time, God is good. It’s tough to emulate Him but God is GOOD
ALL THE TIME.
In Christ,
Renee Blare
Find out more about Renee Blare:
~
A
pharmacist of twenty-two years, Renee Blare is a multi-published author and
writes Christian Romantic Suspense published by Prism Book Group, a subsidiary
of Pelican Ventures. She enjoys painting, reading, rock-polishing, photography,
candle-making, and the great outdoors. She lives in the wild but beautiful
state of Wyoming with her husband, James.
In
February of 2017, after a knee replacement and many months of unexplained pain,
she was diagnosed with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. Her pain continued to grow
exponentially over the next year. Insurance, procedures, and surgeries coupled
with the inability to work ate away at their savings as well as her retirement,
and their dual disability changed her and her husband’s way of life.
Stress
sent her pain into overdrive and self-control became a rare commodity, but she
acknowledged her weakness and fear. Although daily life now consists of severe
pain, sciatica, and allodynia, Renee knew her strength and joy came from Jesus
not money. The Lord directed her to CFM to find the tools to get back on their
feet, pay the bills, get the care they need, and above all, help those in the
same predicament.
Renee
loves her husband and life with her God. She treasures each moment given on
this earth and looks forward to tomorrow. Christ is her hope and her philosophy
is “one day at a time with yesterday in the tool chest and dawn on the
horizon.”
The Giveaway: Renee is
giving away one print copy (US Only, please) of her debut novel BEAST OF STRATTON, a a Romantic Suspense/Mystery. To enter, just leave your name and email info in the comments section below, AND ANSWER this question from Renee: What do you feel when you see a disabled person? Give this some careful, honest thought before answering. This giveaway will run for one week, ending next Wednesday, February 19, at Midnight O'Clock Central Time.
